Are you an ex-theist?
No. Although I grew up in a religious family, I was too smart to believe in an imaginary sky-daddy.
Are you an evil Nazi Darwinist?
No. However, I would totally sleep with Josef Mengele if he were alive.
GODWIN'S LAW, N00B!!! PWNED!!
Why did you make fun of Mary when she got hacked?
She probably got phished, not hacked. I laughed at her because I found it lulzy and because she deserved it. HACKED, LOL!
How do I HACK, LOL?
mv /sbin/ /dev/null/sbin
However, if you're a Mac user, you should just kill yourself.
Do you really scream 'Oh Gould' instead of 'Oh god' in bed?
Yes. Want to see for yourself?
Do you really believe that you evolved from a monkey?
Uh, no. I created the universe last Thursday, remember?
No. I don't have a zombie fetish.
Aren't you afraid of hellfire?
No. With all the scientists who are apparently there, I'm sure they would have come up with air-conditioning by now.
Will you sleep/hook-up with me?
Possibly. It depends on a lot of other factors, fanboy.
What's the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
How sure are you that I swallow?
Are you really a hacker?
NO U!!
Why are you such an asshole?
This is my blog and if you don't like it, get lost.
What is your real name?
Evolved Rationalist. I kid you not.
Why do you worship science?
Worship?! I sleep with the Holy God of Science everyday!
Why are you so rude to theists?
You mean theistards? Neat.
No.
Are you animal, vegetable, or mineral?
I'm just an exceptionally smart T4 bacteriophage.
Are you single?
Yes. Single and fuckable.
Do you like sex?
You must be a virgin.
What turns you on?
/b/
Are you an adaptationist or a pluralist?
Pluralist, dammit! Gould>>Dawkins!
Is evolution or the big bang more interesting?
Evolution. You actually had to ask? Heretic!
Would you ever marry a creationist?
OMFSM NO WAY LOL!!
Not that I know of.
Are you a direct descendant of King Kamehameha I of Hawaii?
Yes. Him, Charles Darwin and Alvin Plantinga.
Why do hot dogs (except for Hebrew National, which comes in packages of 7) come in packages of 12 and hot dog buns come in packages of 8?
That was the way I wanted it to be when I created the universe last Thursday.
Do you have crabs?
No. You can sleep with me.
Can you explain the origin of crabs?
William Dembski.
How is a raven like a writing desk?
They both contain atoms.
I'm not a stupid, deluded, ignorant and evil creationist. Would you even consider sleeping with me?
YES OMFSM YES!!
I seem to be the only reader not wanting to sleep with you. Does this mean there is something wrong with me?
If you are a heterosexual male without erectile dysfunction, yes.
Oh yes, and is it numberwang?
Yes. 42.
What is your hair color?
Naturally, black. At the moment, light brown with highlights. DISREGARD THAT, now it is black with lots of blond highlights.
Always subject to change.
I am very fond of evolution, but I have a vagina. Would you sleep with me?
No. Sadly (for you) not even our shared love of evolution will change the fact that I am straight.
Would you sleep with Osama bin Laden?
Hell NO. I'd rather do Dembski.
I am going to fuck you. What sexual position do you want me in?
I think this calls for some experimentation.
What is the evolutionary history of South Park?
I created it (and the universe) last Thursday.
Do you like it when a man goes down on you?
Yes. Care to volunteer, fanboy?
Behe or Dembski?
Threesome!
Why are you so horny?
The last time I checked, my horns were safely hidden. Sigh....busted.
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Comment Policy
I have a pretty liberal comment policy where basically anything (even the most stupid of the stupid) goes. I do not moderate/delete comments unless it involves obvious spam. Comment away, and if you show yourself to be a deluded dumbfuck, I reserve the right to mock you mercilessly.